


how do you make this okay?

by trash_mammall



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, patton loves virgil n is an absolute dad, they love each other but it's written as platonic bc im soft fr that, you can read it as romantic if you'd like tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 21:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19385314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash_mammall/pseuds/trash_mammall
Summary: After Virgil sinks out, he gets comfort from our favourite fun-loving father figment, as he deserves.Post Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts.





	how do you make this okay?

Virgil shrugged, a humourless smirk cracking across his face. He thought he had prepared himself properly for this reveal, a certain resolve steeped in fear having enveloped him before he’d said it, but apparently no amount of “I have to do this” could have helped.

Thomas had taken a step back, blinking, and Virgil hadn’t wanted to give him a chance to speak before sinking out. The damage was done, the response had been a physical balk, and that was good enough for him.

When Virgil appeared in the commons of the mind palace, he wasn’t exactly sure what he should do. He felt off, hollow, as if he had left everything inside of him out on the living room floor for Thomas to scrutinize, resulting in an overwhelming nothingness left for him to keep.

And then he was choking and the photographs on the shelves were blurring. Stumbling over his own feet to the couch, Virgil shuddered, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

As his fingers tangled in his bangs, grip tightening with each muffled gasp for air, Virgil absentmindedly felt the presence of someone else entering the commons from the kitchen. It only properly registered with him when the couch dipped and someone was clearing their throat. 

_He should have gone to his room._

Virgil sat up, startled, and took down greedy gulps of air; he had somewhat of a reputation to uphold and crying on the couch was not a part of that. He swept balled up sleeves against his cheeks, his impossible eyeshadow be damned, before glancing at who had taken a seat next to him.

Concerned eyes met his own, rimmed red and exactly not what he was ready for. Hands were holding out a mug of tea, and Virgil could already tell it was the perfect temperature, and this was too much.

“Virgil, kiddo,” Patton sighed, words dripping in a care too genuine to process in a brain as muddled as his.

Virgil tried to take the mug, he really did. He tried to compose himself enough to hold one of his favourite drinks but instead the ceramic piece began to shake, and then the tea was sloshing, and Patton took it back before any of the beverage could spill over onto one of them or the couch. He shook his hands in frustration, balling them into fists and rubbing them against his jeans as Patton placed the mug on the coffee table in front of them. 

“Sorry, I don’t- I’m sorry, I just- you don’t-, uh-” Virgil took a breath, curling in over his legs.

“You’re okay, Virgil,” Patton cut in, a steady hand resting on Virgil’s back. “I’ve got you.”

Virgil took a few deep breaths in time with the repetitive circles Patton was now outlining against his spine. His hands slowly eased their grip on his pants, his body releasing tension as it sank into the touch. 

He leaned back into the cough, Patton’s hand shifting easily to his arm, and he focused his eyes on the ceiling. With a slight shake of the head and an empty chuckle, Virgil mumbled, “You should have seen his face, Patton.”

“Now kiddo, I don’t think that’s the most reliable way to judge how he feels about this,” Patton replied, his thumb rubbing a soothing heartbeat into Virgil’s sweater. “He might’ve been startled, or taken off guard, but that’s a reasonable reaction, isn’t it? That doesn’t mean he dislikes you.”

Virgil shook his head again, because Patton wasn’t _getting_ it. Patton was too kind, too trusting, too idealistic. 

“I broke his trust, Patton. That’s the long and the short of it, and you can’t- I mean-” his laughter was a bark this time, frightening and as void as his chest. “You can’t make this okay, Patton.”

Patton sighed, his hand leaving Virgil’s arm prompting him to break the staring contest he’d started with the bumps in the paint above them. He watched Patton place the mug in Virgil’s hands, passively going with the motions and securing the mug using his thighs. 

He looked up again as Patton shifted on the couch to face him, a set determination in his eyes mixed with the ever-flowing love he managed to give each of the sides equally. Virgil had always questioned whether he was worthy of such a look, whether he had ever actually earned Patton’s unwavering support.

He’d never settled on an answer that satisfied him, and this time was no different. His eyes fell to his tea.

“Virgil, trusting Thomas with that information about yourself is something that took a massive amount of bravery on your part. Now, you have worked hard to help Thomas, especially the past few years. You’ve grown and I have zero doubt that our Thomas would discredit all that you’ve done for him- for _us._ ”

Virgil tightened his grip around his mug, opening his mouth to refute what Patton was saying only for Patton to continue.

“ _But_ ,” he started, “if Thomas seems to have doubts, or if the worst case scenario seems a little more realistic, I’ll be there to support you.”

At this, Virgil’s eyes bounced back up to Patton with hesitation. He was met with a soft smile, Patton showing a level of confidence Virgil almost wanted to laugh at. He couldn’t help the disbelieving grin that spread in reaction, his uncertainty almost palpable.

“I’ll be there, and so will Logan, and so will Roman.”

Virgil blinked, brows furrowing as Patton placed his hands over Virgil’s own. Their eyes met, Patton leaning in so Virgil couldn’t help but hold the contact. Virgil had always known the idiom “ _the eyes are the gateway to the soul,”_ but he’d never truly experienced such a feeling before – he hadn’t experienced the searing vulnerability of such a level of communication.

Patton was opening him up like he’d always feared one of them would, but despite the all-encompassing connection it came with, Virgil found he wasn’t scared.

Huh.

“I promise.”

And with the pair of brown irises boring into him, mirroring his own yet inherently different, and with the wetness of Patton’s voice, Virgil could do little save for nod.

“Okay,” he whispered, grimacing at the effort it took to speak through the lump in his throat. “Okay.”

He continued to nod, perhaps more to himself than Patton, and even if he didn’t trust that everything would be sunshine and rainbows, he trusted Patton, and that was good enough for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> i have many feelings about this newest ep, but i couldn't Not write a scene looking into what happened just after Virgil's Big Reveal (tm). Also i just wrote this n didn't reread bc i'm feeling raw this time around so hope it's written properly despite that dkjhfgkdhg
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, n thank you fr reading !!
> 
> tumblr: trash-mammall


End file.
